President Elect(ed): Barack Obama

Preamble:
I'm back to my blogging ways and in order for me to attain the kind of cathartic feeling I get from scribing my ideas onto this canvas I have to start writing with regularity again. I'm recommitting myself to the Without Any Further Shenanigans. I want to apologize to my blog and to those who care for my entries for leaving it bare for a few months as I was immersed in moiling over academic responsibilities which I'm relieved to say will not be a priority for an entire month. Enough of my conciliatory thoughts towards my blog and on to my first entry in a long time. Albeit the celebration of Barack Obama's victory in the presidential race took place over a month ago, I felt that I would be remiss had I not recorded something in my blog that details my thoughts and feelings about his triumph in the most historic race ever to surface in America.

November 4th, 2008........... I never thought the race would conclude as decisive as it did with Obama prevailing over McCain in a rout. Seeing historically Red states turn blue over the course of that evening was shocking and very telling. When all of the news affiliates had announced that Obama won Pennsylvania and that it was corroborated that he would be the 44th President of these United States, I sat there aghast. I absolutely did not know what to do. I was overcome with so much emotion that ironically, if someone had seen me they would've described me as emotionless. I just sat there in front of the television and raptly listened to Barack rhapsodize once more at Grant Park in front of an innumerable amount of people and give one of his touted ornately constructed and eloquent oratories that seemed to inspire me every single time that he delivered a speech. I thought that Barack Obama's victory speech was the best orated rhetoric that I had ever heard in my life. And I think for the generation that I am apart of that it was comparable to that of Martin Luther King Jr.'s "I Have a Dream" speech; though not in nature, objective or reason, but rather in the historical implications and its ability to galvanize and inspire many with verats about the potential, journey, ability, potency, freedoms, privileges, and imploring of America and its citizens. I will never, ever, forget it. And let me say that my favorite part of his speech was when Obama professed that Malia and Natasha (who's moniker is Sasha) will be receiving a new puppy subsequent to the family's emigration to the White House. Who cares about the 14th century hand-woven tapestries that are overlain on the White House floors? It's time to bring the first dog (excuse the pun) into the White House and if the carpet gets messed up, then I'm sure Malia and Sasha will learn new values of responsibility and chores. After watching his victory speech, I ran to Franklin street in Chapel Hill and met about two thousand other people who throngged the street and there was bedlam all night.

Why did Barack Obama win? I think the nature of the presidential election and recent history of America had more to do with McCain's lost than his gregarious opponent in Barack Obama. It would not be presumptuous to say that the democratic constituencies were undoubtedly going to vote for Barack. But why did American citizens who voted historically Republican vote for Barack Obama? And how did Obama swing centrists? The facts that this country's economic stature was driven into the mire, the country insufferably endured through two wars in spite of widespread national apprehension at embracing both wars, an education system that was gradually descending into the nadir of failure, gas prices that went from relatively frugal to unbelievably high pricing (and still going up), and a health care system that leaves America naked and showered with shame when compared to that of other countries who provide free health care for all its citizens, all occurred on the watch of a House and Senate that was laden with Republicans. It also did not help that the current President, while Republican, was the most asinine and incapable leader this country has ever witnessed. Obama's ploy within his campaign to paint John McCain as the second coming of Bush was a potent tactic, and while it may not have resonated with those who are politically versed because in many ways John McCain differs from George W. Bush, it did enough to convince those who are not as informed via commercials and ads. More importantly, I think many saw Barack Obama as the antithesis of George W. Bush and found an incredible profound hope in Barack Obama that was invoked by the morbid position this country is in.

I hate to undermine the American people, but I contend that while the issues of the economy, war, education, and health care were vital and prudent to the voting of the American people, I think the character of both candidates played more of an important role in the minds of voters. There are many people in this country who don't canvass the ideas of the politicians, or watch every political debate, or spend a sufficient amount of time evaluating the plans and potential policies of both candidates in an effort to discern which one of the two was more qualified to lead this country out of the socio-economic turmoil it finds itself in. From my vantage point, I saw a figure in John McCain who was uncouth in appearance and who's age did very little to aid his campaign. I think many voters created a nexus between his age and his policies in that they both were old and of the political ilk and socio-economic ideologies of yesteryear. Opposite John McCain you had Barack Obama, a handsome man who looked physically fit and nimble, and whose dexterity was epitomized with his exercise and leisurely physically engaging activity regiments including jogging and playing basketball. Outside of appearance and health, Barack Obama's rhetoric was like music to an idealist’s ear in that it attended to and resonated with typified ideas of hope and progressive ideas that many have thought that an American politician would never embrace because it was deemed political suicide. Barack Obama seemed extremely pensive, educated, driven, and probably most importantly, eloquently articulate. Not only was his oratorical ability unique and energized people, but it was rife with ideas that consistently remained prudent to the task at the potential 44th President's and America's hand, and also touched the minds and hearts of people on a level that was uncanny and unfathomable. Subsequent to the deliverance of his speeches, every news affiliate that I watched spent hours discussing his ability to speak, while in awe.

John McCain's choice to appoint Sarah Palin as his potential Vice President was the poorest choice he could have possibly made. It was blatantly clear that he only selected her to vie for Hillary Clinton votes and that was a political ploy that probably left many of his base to balk at continuing to support him. That tactic was deceitful and it epitomized political ploys of the past that many American people were tired of witnessing. She was clearly unqualified for the position and the McCain campaign team's hyper-surveillance of her only conveyed to voters that she was being controlled for the sake of the campaign and that stymied the duration of McCain's campaign.

You cannot underscore the effectiveness of Barack Obama's campaign, which was probably the most seminal political campaign America has ever seen. He spawned the best Grass Roots campaign in America's political history. The Obama team planted seeds in an innumerable amount of local communities and college campuses. Those seeds began to germinate and spread their Obama-advocacy stems into their respective communities which led to the historic amount of subsidies ever raised to aid a campaign. McCain's team put themselves at an extreme disadvantage with their scant use of technology opposed to Obama's team which utilized technology to disseminate information about Obama and gradually began to pervade the computers of people and even video games. Barack Obama purchased ads that would be shown in video games. How shrewd is that? Lastly, I think the generation that I am apart of is what catapulted Barack Obama into the White House. Because of the subject matter collegiate students and graduate students are learning regarding political and socio-economic ideologies in academic milieus, it is fair to say that this new generation is prohibitively progressive and that the idealist rhetoric of Obama easily energized the hope in young people that lay dormant because it was difficult to believe that this country could move in such a direction.

I had never immersed myself in the tidings of the history of this country as it pertained to race, class and gender until I got to college. I began to feverishly read and engage in discussion about race, class, and gender after only learning and understanding very few things about socio-economic history in America as my study of the subject was nascent. However, after engaging in so much critical thought and perusing through book after journal after article, my understanding of race relations led to me to believe that the hegemonic institutions of race, class and gender left an indelible mark on this country and the day that we would see an attempt to remove the stain was hundreds of years ahead of us. However, the campaigns of both Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama inspired me to have new faith and hope in the ability of America to progress. I have had a few debates about how Obama's victory would and should affect the socio-economic mobility of people of color. I've been told that in no way should we be disillusioned and believe that just because the White House will house its first African American president that the hegemonic societal institutions through race, class, and gender that subjugate people of color and women will not cease to exist and that we should remain cognizant of those issues and preserve our perspective of them. I completely agree with that. However, I do believe that we should take that same amount of hope that we so feverishly invested in Obama and pour it into believing that we should no longer be socially and economically stymied by them. While there are societal institutions that may impede our social mobility, we should remain inspired and encouraged by Obama's victory to persevere and give our most valiant efforts to be successful in spite of those hindrances and not rely on excuses to justify our discontinuation of trying to achieve. Barack Obama's victory was a monumental victory for people of color and especially for African Americans and that shall forever be a muse for many. So instead of socially conscious parents raising their children and solely warning them about what may be unfair on their journey, we should supplement those implores with ideas of hope and encouragement while using Barack Obama as the quintessential example.

So now that he has won, we will all be looking forward to what Chuck D so aptly coined as, "Day 2". This country is in a pathetic position considering its wealth and intrinsic freedoms and privileges its decrees provide. Barack Obama will now have the hardest job in America and he has earned it. I am hoping the amount of participation that was so palpable during his campaign remains alive during his presidency, especially with things such as petitioning for an energy independent country where the masses of people will turn in their gas guzzling vehicles in favor of electric cars and we will consciously cease to use environmentally damaging products. Barack Obama should not be given the weight of the world because the quandaries that this country is facing cannot be fixed with the kind of expediency that many are hoping for. I hope that people are patient. According to this article, Obama is constructing his constituency with primarily centrist to right-winged politicians which has, needless to say, left democrats and leftists confused and irate. I'm indifferent towards his selection and that's because I have faith that Obama is seeking the best minds to address the needs of this country and will assemble a team that will weave a new fabric into the flag of America.

Parting Thoughts:

1. Since I'm on break, I can finally get back into reading. I'm beginning with Walter Mosley's, "The Man in My Basement". I hope its good. The abstract made it seemed interesting.

2. I'm dissapointed with 808's & Heartbreaks. I don't really care that the he used auto-tune throughout the entire album. What upsets me is that this album does not give you the vintage Kanye. In past albums, we are used to hearing Kanye cleverly address different topics through his lyrics and in 808's & Heatbreak, there is only one subject he raps (or sings if you want to be technical) about: heartbreak. The album is cool but I think its unfair to the fans for us to have waited over a year for a new Kanye album and he gives us a 12 track auto-tuned indignant album about a woman. It's understandable that the man is hurt, but an entire album inspired by her just gives her more energy and exposure in my opinion. But if this album is helping him alleviate the pain, then fine.

3. Why is that everytime I turn to TLC, they are showing water births? And why is the woman who is birthing the child always obese? I turn to the channel and some woman is in some disgusting tub looking orgasmic while two other women are sitting there with their hands waiting for something to pop out. Get some new content TLC!

4. Barack Obama wins, and B.E.T. gets worse. Why am I not surprised?

5. Aaron McGruder's new online comedy series is funny as hell. My respect for AM has reached new heights.

6. Make the music with your mouth, Bizzzz

Oh yeah,

Black Prez.

Back............but with indignation.......

Preámbulo:
Yes, I am back to my blogging ways. I almost felt pressured, from myself and others, to return back to blogging. Do not be mistaken. I did not decide to permanently stop blogging. I just chose to take a break from writing for a while. I had actually intended to take the month of September off and commence October 1st with a new blog entry. A friend jovially said to me that my blog was actively acknowledging Ramadan, the Muslim piety. She said that my abstaining from blogging is analogous to the intricacy of Ramadan. Since I wasn't blogging for the month of September, I wasn't "feeding" my blog with words or thoughts so it was "fasting". What's interesting is that, on one of my older blogs, I stated that writing/blogging is very cathartic for me and its therapeutic for my mind and my soul. That is still very true. Though, I haven't felt too bad about not writing/blogging, but I definitely felt that not writing for such a long time was becoming unhealthy. So, I am attempting to recover my routine indulgence in my verve-like prose. I've always maintained that I like to write at length when I blog, so if I don't find or experience anything that moves me enough to write in depth about it, I'll decide against blogging. Though, I would have liked to make my return to my blog with a happier subject, unfortunately what spawned my yearning to write was a horrid experience. I archived this blog entry in the "I'm Mad as Hell and I'm Not Gonna Take It Anymore" (apropos of the film "Network). I'm not mad at all right now, but, at the time I was incensed so I thought this entry best fit in that section. And I haven't an entry in this section in a long time. That's a good thing, right?

El Cuento
A few days ago, I happened to be walking along one of our campus quads and I saw a fairly middle-aged looking Caucasian couple sitting on one of the limestone enclosed flower beds. They were looking at the campus map and seemed really confused. I was walking with my iPod (whose cacophonies that emanate from the headphones can be easily heard by anyone) blasting and I sauntered past them. But as I continued to inch away from them, I thought to myself that I should ask if they need any help because I know the grandeur of UNC's campus on paper can be confusing for anyone, especially for a first time visitor/(s). So I stopped, did an about-face, walked up to them, and asked them if they needed any help navigating the campus. They retorted yes and inquired about what venues they should visit since this was there first visit to Chapel Hill. I suggested that they visit the three libraries on campus, the soccer field, gyms, Dean E. Smith Center, the basketball museum and the nexus of campus which is called "The Pit". "The Pit" happens to be surrounded by our Student Union, one dining hall and Student Stores which has UNC paraphernalia ( I totally sound like a student tour guide). They motioned as if they were glad that I was providing them with such instruction. But before I could make my exit from the conversation, they posed a few more queries to me and asked what year I was, where I was from and how I was enjoying my Carolina experience. I gave them a detailed answer and responded as genuinely as I could. Subsequent to the inquisition the man, who I assume to be the husband, asked what was my major of study. I told him I was a Communications major and he facetiously responded, "Ohhhhhhh. So that's why you speak so well".

He actually stuck his tongue out when he said as if he presumed that what he said was going to be just as dryly funny to me as it was to him. I could've easily showed my indignation, but I didn't. I've gone through a lot of these experiences before so I was used to it. And I responded to the situation the same that I've responded to it in the past. And that was showing off, as best I could, my ability to articulate, my strong sense of self, and dabbling into expressing my passion for film. So I lengthened the conversation and told them about my aspirations; though concisely. They asked me what programs that I was thinking about applying to for film school and I told them USC, UCLA, NYU, and Columbia. They hastily expressed to me that those are extremely difficult programs to be admitted to, almost in an effort to discourage me. But I took it in stride, and expressed to them that I have the diligence and passion to make it into one of those programs. They responded with "ok's", wished me well and continued their venture throughout the campus.

While it wasn't the first time it has happened to me, it was still one of the most unpleasant experiences I've ever incurred. It was a verbal slap in the face. And what really makes it worse was that it was such a 'back-handed' comment. I could've called him on it, and it would've been easy. But I don't think that taking that route would've done me or them any good. And besides, I think that they were surprised enough by my speech, decorum and thoughts. So I feel like that was my return-fire. But, it's saddening that these indoctrinated cultural ideas still pervade this particular society. Maybe I was showing a bit of niavete in believing that this country had made some significant strides in race-relations because of examples like Barack Obama's journey to the political apex of this country.

But I almost feel like those such as Barack Obama, Cornel West, Jocelyn Elders, Terence Blanchard or any reputable and revered black person only garners that profound sense of respect from their white-counterparts because they have moiled over constantly impressing them. It's sad that a person of color is readily perceived as ignorant or less potent. For some reason, when I worked at the College Board in Manhattan during my senior year of high school, I felt like I needed to perform all the time for the workers there so I could prove to them that I was a unique, intelligent, intuitive, witty and goal-oriented young man. I prepared myself to do that and voluntarily placed that burden on myself each day that I had to work. And I find myself still doing it today. But it's fine. I think adding that dimension to my journey to becoming the kind of filmmaker I want to be will only make the content of my films more informed and add more layers to my personhood. And it's always good to persevere through things, show strength and character and ultimately grow.

Parting Pensamientos:
1. I participated in my first film project. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to direct which is what I was hoping to do, but I landed an acting role. I played the killer, Edward Martin, in a short film entitled "The Return of Edward Martin". The film entailed a man who killed his wife 100 years ago and his granddaughter incidentally returns to his grave site and drops her bequeath necklace that Edward Martin's wife once wore on his burial ground. The necklace revives his ghost and attempts to kill his granddaughter while believing she was actually his wife's revived spirit. The movie actually ends with a twist, entailing Edward Martin killing his granddaughter while thinking she was actually his wife; but after he kills the granddaughter via strangulation on an elevator, his wife reappears wearing his signature gloves that he dons throughout the short film. Subsequent to the first screening, we won Best Shot, which was a dolly shot suggested by me to the director. For any cinephile reading this blog, you would know that the dolly shot is a staple of Spike Lee films where he captures an actor/(s) walking, but because of the shot, it seems as if they are floating through a particular milieu. We also won best story line. Over all, the project went well. I learned a lot of things about the process including shooting, acting and editing. I'm excited for my filming future.

2. George Tillman Jr, director of "Soul Food", is a making a film detailing the legendary ascension of the late-great Christopher "Notorious B.I.G." Wallace into the pantheon of Rap elites. The film is entitled 'Notorious'. I hope this thing isn't a disappointment. His legacy is well preserved and if this film is bad, there will be bedlam within the Hip-Hop community.
http://www.imdb.com/video/imdb/vi1206386969/

3. I'm anticipating Kanye's "808's & Heartbreaks" which is set to be released in mid-December. The single, Love Lockdown, kind of grew on me, but it didn't wow me like the singles off of his older albums. I just hope that Kanye provides us with that incredible production that he has blessed us with on his past albums.

4. So, I'm in a relationship now and it has gone on for about two months. Having a long distance relationship is unbelievably hard, but the promixity makes you appreciate one another on so many different levels. And that's what I feel like we have done. Our bond puts so much emphasis on growth and honesty and that's undoubtedly, my favorite part about the relationship. We've literally "spilled the beans" about everything including our past experiences, family history, struggles, beliefs, and significant decisions that we've made in life. I think its incredible that we've been able to share those things. And when those kinds of conversations first started, it was definitely tough hearing and sharing certain things, but now we're at a point where our communication is by far the strongest part of our bond. We're brutally honest with another, no matter how grand or minute the subject is, we make it our business to discuss for the sake of growth within the bond. Also, we're so incredibly different, though we have many things in common, and it makes for great compliments to both of our personalities. We originate from different places, live in different places and have had contrastively different journeys but we've learned so many different values just by sharing what we've gone through. She's definitely my biggest support system right now and I hope I am to her. I'm really excited about the relationship's potential and I hope it flourishes into a bond that no one can understand but us. Because that's when I believe, it is truly unique.

Oh yeah,
I felt the need to give a shout out to Brooklyn.

Making It Right

Art Form: Television
Genre/Type: Talk

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uigclQryYa0

Art Form: Architecture
Genre/Type: Residential



Yesterday was the anniversary of Hurricane Katrina. So I guess there's a little serendipity with this blog since I've found myself blogging about the calamity that was Hurricane Katrina for the first time; which makes this blog incredibly timely. From my observations of the media, it seems as though we have become incredibly remiss about the tragic events of Hurricane Katrina now, which is a mentality that has pervaded the U.S. since a month after the actual occurrence. I myself am guilty as well. I haven't really thought much about Katrina or its lasting affects on the city of New Orleans. But honestly, that isn't something someone would want to constantly moil over because the nature of the situation is entirely too depressing. But I found myself revisiting the topic while trying to catch up on an episode of Charlie Rose. Charlie was interviewing famed actor Brad Pitt about his new movie, but more importantly, they discussed at great length his new project, Make It Right.

Charlie commenced the discussion by asking Brad what seemed to be the million dollar question post-Katrina. Why didn't the people in the lower ninth-ward receive the sufficient amount of help, care, resources and attention that they should have gotten? There was some solidarity between the both of them as they began discussing the idea of the government conspiring to 'eliminate an underclass in America'. Now I consider myself a, 'A moderate revolutionary', so I would love to dabble into ideas that accuses the government of colluding to put a moratorium on the nadir of America's socio-economic hierarchy. I'm sure the Black panthers would've leaped at the opportunity to profess to the masses that the breaching of the levees was just a paradigm devised by the government to rid our society of blacks and the destitute. But I won't do that. I really don't think that's the case. However, I do believe that the maintenance of the levees was considerably neglected because of the demographics in the area of New Orleans that fell victim to severe flooding. Our government should definitely be ashamed of its cavalier attitude towards the flooding of that area.

I'm taking a geology class this semester. And on the first day of class the professor attempted, in all his passion, to explain why science was so incredibly pertinent. He used the example of Hurricane Katrina and what ensued was a sensitive attentiveness of the class to his example , which probably would not have happened had the professor began to ramble about the profound nuances and the intrinsic value of the application of science to the world. Anywho, what really got my attention was when the prof. exclaimed that about 95% of our political moguls and arbiters know less about the general areas of science than the average college freshman. That's a mind-bottling and scary statistic if its veritable. Maybe we need more scientists in positions of power in the government. But I digress. Two quotes that stuck out to me that the professor showed via PowerPoint were these:

"A major hurricane could swamp New Orleans under 20 feet of water, killing thousands..... only massive re-engineering of the levees can save the city".
- Mark Fischetti, October 2001-Scientific American

"I don't think anyone anticipated the breach of the levees".
-George W. Bush, August 2005

.....I'm sure the people of New Orleans would readily forgive Mr. Bush if given the opportunity.....Right. I think at this point, no matter how conciliatory W. would act, the people of New Orleans will forever preserve a level of animosity for him that everyone outside of New Orleans would never be able to understand or develop. So, moving away from placing the blame, the events have left people in New Orleans despondent and decadent still 'til this day. But there is hope, and it begins with Make It Right.

Make It Right is a.........well, here's a truncated version that I devised and extracted from the 'vision' section of the project's official website. "In December 2006, Brad Pitt convened a group of experts in New Orleans to brainstorm about building green affordable housing on a large scale to help victims of Hurricane Katrina....the group determined that a large-scale redevelopment project focused on green affordable housing and incorporating innovative design was indeed possible..... To demonstrate replicability, Pitt determined to locate the project in the Lower 9th Ward, one of the most devastated areas of New Orleans, proving that safe homes could and should be rebuilt. Pitt hopes that this project would be a catalyst for recovery and redevelopment throughout the Lower 9th Ward and across the city of New Orleans. Having listened to one former resident's plea to help "make this right," Pitt was inspired to name the project "Make It Right" (MIR).

I commend Pitt's efforts. I think what he's doing is incredible. Aside from the plan itself, the idea and commitment alone is something that needs to be lauded. With the innumerable amount of affluent people that live in this country, especially those who are inherently socio-economically hegemonic, it was left to an actor to take the initiative to spawn a project that would help restore the ability to live and the quality of life in the lower-ninth ward of New Orleans. And it all started with Pitt's sincere love for the city's wealth of culture. The project itself is extremely artistic and environmentally conscious. The houses are going to be built to be eco-conscious and for sustainability (in lieu of Hurricane Katrina). But what really makes the Make It Right project great is that the development and upkeep of these homes for the developers and the inhabitants are going to be relatively frugal. The plan is, as Brad explains to Charlie, is that there will be people who first adopt the homes (paying for them) and then giving the home back to the people who had a home on the particular land space on which their home used to be. So a Katrina victim will come back home, see a brand new house on their land and it will be theirs for the taking. And the houses are built so that the bills and expenses will remain low. Beautiful idea.

Being a conessuire and potential purveyor of art, I'd have to extol the architecture of the homes the most. The models that Brad shows on the show look incredible. If I had to take a guess, I'd say all of these homes are going to be products of post-modern construction; which leaves me a little envious of the Katrina victims. Here are some samples.
















You can see the rest of the designs here.
http://www.makeitrightnola.org/mir_SUB.php?section=mir&page=designs&mySub=main
They're all extremely beautiful. Once again, I commend Brad, his fellow sponsors and all the donors who have supported this project. Brad said in the interview that he and his team have incurred some struggles trying to find adequate support from those who have the resources to really expedite the project, but he's maintained a panglossian attitude. Though the project is fairly nascent, I'm excited about its future. I hope it flourishes. I think that the architecture of these homes will only add to the incredible surplus of culture, custom and tradition that distinguishes New Orleans. Hopefully, 'Make It Right', will catapult New Orleans past its previous cultural stature, and into a cultural utopia for its inhabitants and visitors alike.

Parting Thoughts:
The beginning of school is going really well for me and I can see the newest version of Kuamel manifesting itself already.
Barack Obama's choice for a running mate remains an anomaly to me and I'm actually undecided about who I'll vote for.
I'm officially down with Wale and The Best Kept Secret. See: Nike Boots by Wale
I have a new moniker: Smarty Jones.
The best thing I heard from a professor on the first day of classes was this:

"Being literate is not an English class thing".

Oh yeah,
In lieu of the blog entry, I thought I'd leave you with a lasting image and a song that I think will typify the resurgence of New Orleans from the worst calamity that this country has ever seen. I got the image from a New York Times article I was reading about a documentary called "Trouble The Water", another film that will be portraying the effects of Hurricane Katrina. And the song is actually from the album, "A Tale of God's Will", which was made by Terence Blanchard (who is in the picture) as a requiem for Hurricane Katrina victims. I love jazz.

Press Start.......................................Game Over.

Prelude: I just wanted to commence this blog by saying I'm glad to be back writing again. I felt like I had abandoned my writing even though it was no fault of my own. I had been moiling over the program I've been working for trying to endure vampire hours. My attrition just didn't afford me the energy and mental capability to write as in depth and at length as I usually do. But I've finished working for the program for the summer which means I'm back to my blogging ways; which I must say is not only therapeutic for my mind, but also cathartic for my soul because I invest so much into what I write and it is also vital to my personal development. So I'm glad to be back on my blog and on to my new entry for the first time in a long time. Just to add a little more preamble and to make this prelude more superfluous than it needs to be, I want to express how much working for College Summit this summer has done for me. This summer has been extremely transformative for me. I've learned the value of struggle, growth, restraint, humility, and listening. I made myself vulnerable to critical discussions about myself with others and while some things I shunned, most of it I internalized because I understood that it would be pivotal in helping me build my character. I almost feel revitalized and my excitement about other parts of life aside from my dreams, passions and thoughts has been restored. I definitely think I'm a better Kuamel than I was three months ago and I'm ready to move forward with not only the new knowledge that I have attained, but also with the profound growth that I have incurred which is accredited to all those I interacted within the College Summit cohort.

The highlight of my summer would definitely be having talked to my little brother for the first time in 6-7 years. I consider myself an only-child because he is my half brother and was raised by my biological father and his mother. Our relationship was strained because of familial problems that had transpired over the years. Severing relationships pervaded my family and my father's conscious choice to favor my brother over me because of the poor relationship he had with my mom discouraged me from creating a relationship with my brother. But that is all over now. I called my lil' bro for the first time about a week ago and it lifted a huge weight off of my shoulders. I felt guilty because for so long, I was consciously making a choice to not be in my brother's life which is exactly what my father did to me. But after having a few conversations with some close friends of mine, I gathered up the courage to call him. While the conversation was relatively brief, it meant a lot. It's unfortunate that he lives in Atlanta now which means I won't be able to see him as much as I would like. But I'm definitely excited for his future. He's going into high school in the fall and these are going to be the most important four years of his life and I'm excited and anxious to be apart of that process. We talked about a few things and one thing I got from him is that he's really into video games and sports, just like I am. I'm totally going to breed as him as a tar heel fan. That plan should definitely work since I'm his big brother and I go to UNC. Maybe he'll want to emulate my journey and Carolina will be his dream school in three years. Hopefully. At the conversation's end, he told me he loved me......and I returned the statement.

So as my man Mos Def would say, "without any further shaninigans", here is my first entry for the first time in a long time.

This entry is written in reference to an article that I read some time ago on yahoo.com about New York State preparing to enforce new regulations on video games, gaming companies, and consoles. Before you read my opinion, it would be beneficial to read the article first. If you don't click on that hyperlink because malaise has consumed you mentally so much so that you don't want to read a rather synthesized article, then that's sad. My laisse-faire attitude doesn't coincide with these new plans or stipulations at all. I'll retort the article's title by saying, yes, the law(s) is unconstitutional. The law definitely violates civil liberties, however,I do understand why the federal government wants to become austere about themes that are produced by the gaming industry.

"We have the obligation to be constantly vigilant about amending our laws to protect the residents of New York State. Many of these bills will do just that by closing loopholes or creating new laws to enhance the quality of life for all New Yorkers," said Governor Paterson in a Tuesday press release.

The gaming industry is not the primary catalyst of violence and crime in New York State, or the world. The article also mentions that there will be, "an advisory council to conduct a study on the connection between interactive media and real-life violence in minors exposed to such media." I'll support the idea of the research, but I won't be a proponent of the study if the intention is to seek scientific, psychological, and empirical data that corroborates the belief that video games influence gamers to become bellicose, rapists, drug dealers, or death-craved vigilantes. It's not just games that instill self-destructive themes into the minds of people that lead them into becoming criminals or violent human beings. Aside from the study, I just don't think the government should have the right to regulate art.

There are plenty films, pieces of music, photographs, clothing, plays, and some other leisurely activities such as contact sports that entail violent themes. There should be a collective study on all art forms and interactive activities to see how they affect people and their thoughts. I think the government is isolating the gaming industry because its become a cash crop. Unfortunately, the gaming industry remains vulnerable to the government because of the nature of its distribution and thus government officials can arbitrate on whether to stipulate decrees that will ultimately subjugate the gaming industry. The government is just looking for a scapegoat and that idea is affirmed with the reasoning behind this concerted effort to regulate video games and how and who they are distributed to.

Violence and crime rates have been ascending for years and instead of attacking what we know are the verities of the problem, they attack the gaming industry. Conducting an exhaustive study on all the nuances of society with the objective being to understand what facets of our world evoke violent behavior out of people who potentially become assailants is great. But how about we just accept the notion that there are just bad people on this planet. I recall one of my College Summit constituents telling our students that human beings are "perfectly imperfect", which is incredibly true. We have to accept the intricacy of our nature and the fact is there are going to be people who want to kill, steal, rape, and abuse others. Trying to forge a coalition against the gaming industry and ultimately pummeling them into submission with laws is not going to remedy the societal domestic problems that law enforcement officials and political officials have to deal with everyday.

"New Yorkers do not need the state judging which video games are appropriate and which aren't," she sad. "Parents, not government committees, should be responsible for making those judgments. If the legislature wants to reduce youth violence, it should fund educational programs to teach students conflict resolution skills."

At least someone is using critical thought.

Parting Thoughts:
I want to hand out a few superlatives since the summer is coming to a close. This will be an exhaustive analytical verve list as I'll be stating my favorite artistic entities thus far in my life. While it may seem trivial and almost juvenile, it's pretty significant to me. I'm only using it as a measuring tool to examine what were my favorite art pieces up until a certain time. This is just going to serve as a marker so when I look back on this, maybe a year from now, I can compare my favorites artists and artistic products from this point and that point and see how my interests have developed or changed.

Best Rap Albums
Reachin’ (A New Refutation of Time and Space) –Digable Planets
Jazzmatazz -Guru
Late Registration –Kanye West
The Tipping Point –The Roots
Finding Forever -Common

Best Lyricists
Ishmael ‘Butterfly’ Butler a.k.a Cherrywine
Black Thought (The Roots)
Common
Guru
Boots (The Coup)

Best Albums
Reachin’ (A New Refutation of Time and Space) (Digable Planets)
A Copland Celebration, Vol. 1 (Aaron Copland and Orchestra)
Visions of A New World (Lonnie Liston Smith)
The Five Heartbeats Original Motion Picture Soundtrack (The Five Heartbeats)

Best ‘World’ (genre) Artists/Groups
Taio Cruz
Hugh Masakela
Ladysmith Black Mambazo
Loreena McKennitt
Machito

Best Jazz Musicians
Branford Marsalis
Lonnie Liston Smith
Terrence Blanchard
Donald Byrd
Dizzy Gillespie

Best Harmonized Songs
Ain’t No Sunshine (Soul For Real)
In The Still of the Night (Boyz II Men)
Mbube (Ladysmith Black Mambazo)
It’s So Hard [Acapella Version] (Boyz II Men)

Best Jazz Songs
In Time of Need (From Terence Blanchard’s Tale of God’s Will: A Requiem For Katrina)
Yes and No (From Branford Marsalis’ Random Abstract)
Hey Pachucho (From Royal Crown Revue’s Mugzy’s Move)
Cool Yule (From Louis Armstrong’s What A Wonderful World Christmas)
Desert Nights (From Lonnie Liston Smith’s Expansions)
Pop Top 40 (From Branford Marsalis Quartet and Terence Blanchard’s Mo’ Better Blues Soundtrack)

Best Comedic Songs
Basketball Jones (Chris Rock & Barry White)
Because I Got High (Afroman)
No Sex (Chris Rock)
No Pigeons (Sporty Thieves)
It's The Hard Knock Life [remix] (Dr. Evil)
Wrote This Song A Long Time Ago (Dave Chapelle)

Best New Comedians
Corey Holcomb
Deon Cole
Deray Davis
Rodman
Lavell Crawford

Best Comedic Performances
Jamie Foxx’s Straight from the Foxx Hole
Bernie Mac’s Performance on The Original Kings of Comedy
Eddie Griffith’s Dysfunctional Family
Sarah Silverman’s Jesus is Magic

Best Songs to Sleep To.
Baby (The Roots' Game Theory)
Addiction (Kanye West's Late Registration)
Summer Madness (Kool & The Gang's Light Of The Worlds)
Quiet Storm (Smokey Robinson's A Quiet Storm)
They Reminisce Over You (Pete Rock & CL Smooth's Mecca and The Soul Brother)
In Time of Need (Terence Blanchard's A Tale of God's Will [A Reqium For Katrina])

Best Love Songs
I’ll Make Love To You (Boyz II Men)
You [DarkChild Remix] (Jesse Powell)
I Care About You (Milestone)
Made To Love Ya (Gerald Levert)
This Woman’s Work (Maxwell)

Best Electric Songs
Clear (Cybotron)
Tapped (Skream)
Into The Sun (Diplo)
Hip Hop Bee Bop (Man Parrish)
Al-Naafiysh (Hashim)

Best Musical Intercourse (title of my playlist) Song
Storm (Jamie Foxx)
Anywhere (112)
Freak Me (Silk)
All The Things (Joe)
Turn Off The Lights (Teddy Pendergrass)

Best Party Songs
I Wanna Rock (Luke)
Da Butt (E.U.)
Cha Cha Slide (Some DJ)
Now Drop (Timbaland and Magoo)
Def Jam 200 (Fat Man Scoop)

Best Old School Rap Artists/Groups
Arrested Development
Boogie Down Productions
Eric B. & Rakim
LL Cool J
The Sugar Hill Gang

Best Directors
Spike Lee
Quentin Tarantino
The Hughes Brothers
Keenan Ivory Wayans
Hype Williams

Best Actors
Denzel Washington
Will Smith
Angelina Jolie
Wesley Snipes
Ossie Davis

Best Films
Malcolm X
The Five Heartbeats
Titanic
Network
The Last Supper

Best Plays
Plantanos & Collard Greens
Auction Block on Hip Hop
Julius Caesar
No Child
Rent

Best Screenwriter
Seth McFarland
Spike Lee
Aaron McGruder
Keenan Ivory Wayans
Robert Townsend

Best TV Shows
The Cosby Show (Nick at Nite/TBS/USA/Fox)
Boston Public (TV One)
The Boondocks (Cartoon Network’s Adult Swim)
Charlie Rose (PBS)
Pardon The Interruption (ESPN)

Best Documentaries
The O Tapes
Hurricane Katrina: A Requiem in Four Acts
Hard Times at Douglass High: A No Child Left Behind Report Card
Joe Louis: America’s Hero…..Betrayed.
The Boys of Baraka

Best Comedies
Bad Santa
Slither
Don’t Be A Menace In South Central While Drinking Your Juice In The Hood
Harlem Nights
I’m Gonna Get You Sucka

Best Drama Series
Flava of Love (Season 2)
B.E.T.’s Hip Hop vs. _______
I Love New York (Season 1)
Degrassi
The Democratic Nomination Race

Best Mystery/Suspense Films
Mind Hunters
The Saw Trilogy
Paycheck
Clue

Best Game Shows
Who Wants To Be A Millionaire (ABC)
Family Feud (Fox)
Double Dare (Nickelodeon)
Wheel of Fortune (ABC)
Jeopardy (ABC)

Best Cartoons
Rugrats
Rocko’s Modern Life
Hey Arnold
Doug
Little Bear

Oh yeah,
Look out for Miracle at St. Anna. And continue to, as my man Doodlebug would say, "Brew funk inside your soul kitchen".

Manifest Destiny

No.....I'm not going to blog about the concept or history of Manifest Destiny. This blog/journal entry is actually very personal as I've been actively increasing the archives under the "Preaching To The Choir Boy" section of my blog. This section basically details parables about my life, and I have a few on my mind right now that are extremely important that I absolutely had to write about. So, this summer I've been working for this program called College Summit. While the program's main objective is to assist rising high school seniors complete their college application in a four day workshop, the program also seeks to help returning alumni, like myself, with personal growth and development. One exercise that we did that I really appreciated was an activity that entailed for an individual to envision where they wanted to be 35 years from now. We had to write that down. Next, we were supposed to think about an award that we would receive at that particular time for something we had done during or through the course of our lives. Upon figuring out what that was, we were asked to take some time and prepare the speech that would introduce us as the awardee. We had to also state who was presenting the award to us, where it would be presented, and who would be in attendance. So we did it and I was very moved by some of the thoughts of my fellow staff members. One of my supervisors had actually envisioned himself receiving a bunch of plant seeds and a 'thank you' card from a third grade class that he bought a camera for. One my other fellow staff members envisioned herself winning the Pulitzer Prize for a heralded novel she had written, while another wrote that she had won the Nobel Peace Prize. Another one of my fellow staff members pictured herself being presented with an award by a homeless man, which I found moving. I thought this exercise put my aspirations in perspective for me. So I figured I'd share it on my blog and if and when I get to where I want to be, I can look back, read this, and see if I accomplished what I had envisaged for myself.

So, I wrote that I would be receiving the Lifetime Achievement Award at the Omaha Community Playhouse Theater located in Omaha, Nebraska. The award would be presented by one of my best, if not my best, friend Garret Smith; a prominent independent filmmaker. In attendance would be family, friends and colleagues. The speech orated by Garret would go as follows:

"Good evening ladies and gentleman. I'd like to welcome you here at the Omaha Community Playhouse Theater for the 41st annual, Lifetime Achievement Award Banquet. We are here to celebrate and honor an extraordinary man. I have been in the presence of this person for so many years, that I wouldn't know where to begin as I attempt to acknowledge him this evening. But I guess I'll just have to start by acknowledging the breadth of his art and the body of work that he has championed, created, authored, produced, and filmed throughout his life. If I were going to talk about his work, I would have to start by mentioning one of his pinnacles. This man provided an over-flowing amount of inspiration to aspiring independent filmmakers of color when he was chosen by some of the most critical cinephiles in this world as the first African American director to win the Grand Prize at the annual Cannes Film Festival in Cannes, France. Being the first to do something means a heck of a lot in a world where its arduous to even come in fifth place in anything art-related. That accomplishment serves as a testament to his transcendent body of work in cinema. Although passionate and always bursting with ideas, he was able to open his mind and create films that were appealing to all demographics. He exemplified this in many works. Whether it was the sundry political and philosophical ideas given to us in the tear-inducing, poetry and controversy laden film, The S-Word, or the profound nexus created between the brutal past of our African ancestors and the self-destructive themes of contemporary Afro-American culture through a science-fiction thespian-like story in Outta Time, or whether is was the scintillating story that combined the fierce competition of basketball and the melo-dramatic story of two kindred twin brothers turned adversaries by their rival universities, paternal abandonment, drugs, personal strife, and ever-fading relatoinship in Get Live; this man gave us art.

But that same art that he blessed us with was supplemented with a bevy of culture. He distinguished himself as a premiere film auteur when he juxtaposed different genres of music and incorporated them into his films such as combining the likes of Terence Blanchard, Digable Planets, Loreena McKennit, Antonín Dvořák, The Five Heartbeats, and Diplo all in one film. He filmed in many different parts of the world including Cairo, Sao Paulo, Okinawa, and Dubai. He casted an eclectic group of actors, whether they were distinguished by race, gender, orientation or their indigenousness with every film that he was a part of, which only attests that he was committed to giving us culture. He aimed to use his medium of film to not only entertain, but to teach and enlighten with a genuine concern for the minds of his audience. While writing 9, producing 21, and directing over 30 films, this man has now entered into the pantheon of cinematic immortality. He has been the author of a New York Times bestseller five times and is one of the few and rare world-renowned writers who primary occupation is filmmaking. He embodies what it truly means to be an artist. And even if he had not been accruing the amount of money he did over the course of his film career, I am infinitely confident that he would continue creating his art because the sincerity of his passion for film is second to none. But this celebration of his life does not begin and end with what he called his job and what we called a blessing.

We are also here to celebrate one of the most giving human beings that has ever inhabited this Earth. Not only has his endless philanthropic efforts to help support the many decadent and destitute people in this world, but his genuine passion for service to those less fortunate or simply in need is unprecedented. This young black brother who understood his humble beginnings in the socio-economic taxing area of Brooklyn, New York has grown into a man that cannot seem to comprehend selfishness. His valiant efforts to help those who cannot help themselves has been documented for the past 45 years. However, his service to society is not only defined by his generous financial contributions. He has also committed himself to uplifting and raising the consciousness of those around him in an effort to achieve human solidarity. Undoubtedly, he deserves this honorary award because he has not only given his money and thoughts, but he has also offered and given himself.

Since this award is donned, the 'Lifetime Achievement Award', I'd also like to commend him for achieving something that couldn't fall short of amazing. All his life, he had promised that he would do this and he has. I'd like to commend this man for helping to open the Winston Stewart School of Film, Television and Radio at his alma mater, The University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, whom he named after his late grandfather, Winston Stewart the first. And I must say, this man is truly Tar Heel Bred. Seldom will you see him without that Carolina Blue. (laughs) I would also like to celebrate this man as he has moved into the next stage of his life as a loving father and husband raising his two fraternal twin children, Annaya and Kuamel Jr. I have the utmost confidence that because of his personhood, congeniality, sensitive, and sincere nature that he will not only continue to succeed in marriage, but he will excel in parenthood. I wish you and your family nothing but blessings. And without further ado, I'd like to bring to the stage the honorary awardee of this Lifetime Achievement Award, yours and my friend, Mr. Kuamel Stewart...


Parting Thoughts:
So, I said in the preface of this blog entry that I had undergone a lot of personal growth this summer and there's one that I would like to expound upon right now. I stated that my envisioned 'Lifetime Achievement Award' would be presented by a man named Garret Smith. I have to acknowledge this brother. I just met him actually about a week ago at my College Summit workshop. He's a like-minded individual who is also passionate about film and shares similar aspirations with myself. I swear we're of the same ilk. While kickin' it with him over the week, bouncing film ideas back and forth and even indulging in some philosophical debate, we had sat down and had a conversation that might of changed my life. I've been harping about this "make a difference" thing for the past few months and never did I ever really think and consider what it was actually doing to me. In all my passion and self-confidence, I actually humbled myself to the words of Garret and he was able to give me some of the most critical feedback that I've ever heard.

Speaking to him made me realize that the person I was becoming, in all my investment in raising my own cognition about the world, I was becoming more socially inept than socially conscious. While that I had thought the plethora of information I was learning was making me more layered, it was actually making me more shallow. Last year, I condemned any and everyone who I saw did not have the same passion and investment in certain things that I had. And that completely made me a monolithic person. While I thought reading all these books and listening to different music was distinguishing me from others my age or part of this generation, it was only contributing the myopic view I had of people. I was so concerned with becoming this fountain of knowledge and consciousness that I didn't respect the ideas and perspectives of other people. If I didn't see the same passion in them that I had in myself, I would dismiss them completely. But just because someone doesn't show the same amount of interest in the things that I passionately care about should not disqualify them from my thoughts, company and conversation. Who am I to say they aren't worth my time because I was judging them because they didn't deeply care about what I cared about? I may have missed an opportunity of creating some great friendships because I was too immersed in an agenda that was leaving me all alone. When I was in high school, I was really humorous and I never had a problem with being overly-facetious. But when I got to college, I became so serious that I nearly lost that part of my personality and I never really realized that.

Consciousness and pabulum isn't all there is in the world, and it shouldn't be all there is to me. People who are solely esoteric get caught up in a world that strips them of their ability to connect with people who aren't as versed. And I was very judgmental last year. I maligned everyone for being ignorant, asinine, and part of the mythical problems that I rambled about redundantly. Garret helped me realize that being that kind of person is exhausting and that if I continued down that path, I would never be the kind of understanding and gregarious human being that I am seeking out to be. So I'm aiming to be more grounded this year and to have more fun. I think that if I can seek to hone my mind into a creative, philosophical, political, and theoretical machine, then I should also be able to hone my character into a sociable, affable and understanding one that is able to interact with everyone. After all, those are the people who are truly loved and embraced by everybody. I want to acknowledge the Oakland native, my brother Garret for helping me realize that. Never would I have thought someone my own age would give me such important words of wisdom that may have profoundly changed me. Thank You.

Parting Thoughts Part 2:
Sometimes eating some humble pie is vital to your personal growth.
I'm leaving for Indiana in about 2 hours.
I'll be spending my birthday in the Hoosier State.
I really should be sleeping right now.
If you've read this blog, wish me a safe flight.
Maybe I'll finish Invisible Man on the plane.
After all, I am going to Chicago first to connect to another flight.
Ugh.

Oh Yeah,
Time Warner, NewsCorp, and The Walt Disney Company runs the United States.
Check it out for yourself.
Peace.

El Loco Locomotive de La Ciudad de Nueva York

Art Form: Writing
Genre/Type: Novel

<---Welcome to his humble abode. So, since I've emigrated to Chapel Hill from Brooklyn for college, I've kind of lost my 'New York City intuition' and I realized that getting back on the train when I got back home. What's funny to me is that you could never really appreciate the breadth of New York City Transit unless you're new to it or have been away from it for a long time. I think the customs of the train system in New York City need some recognition. So I'm dedicating this blog/journal entry to NYC Trains. Before I go on with my spiel, I want to prelude my thoughts with a piece of writing by Ralph Ellison. Right now, albeit in spurts because of other obligations, I've been reading Invisible Man, arguably Ellison's most extolled and celebrated piece of writing. I'm not done with it yet, but so far, I can really say that I appreciate this man's prose. He writes extremely well and I've immersed myself in the story when I've felt like doing so and found time to do so. Here's an excerpt from the novel that pays homage to New York City transit. The pictures in-between the text for the length of the blog entry provide a nexus with Ellison's words, my thoughts and what it may, or does, actually look like.

"...And while I got down my bags, and my prize brief case, still as shiny as the night of the battle royal, he instructed me how to take the subway, then I struggled through the crowd.


Moving into the subway I was pushed along by the milling salt-and-pepper mob, seized in the back by a burly, blue-uniformed attendant about the size of the Supercargo, and crammed, bags and all, into a train that was so crowded that everyone seemed to stand with his head back and his eyes bulging, like chickens frozen at the sound of danger. Then the door banged behind me and I was crushed against a huge woman in black who shook her head and smiled while I stared with horror at a large mole that arouse out of the oily whiteness of her skin like a black mountain sweeping out of a rainwet plain. And all the while I could feel the rubbery softness of her flesh against the length of my body. I could neither turn sideways, nor back away, not set down my bags. I was trapped, so close that simply by nodding my head, I might have brushed her lips with mine.


I wanted desperately to raise my hands to show her that it was against my will. I kept expecting her to scream, until finally the car lurched and I was able to free my left arm. I closed my eyes, holding desperately to my lapel. The car roared and swayed, pressing me hard against her, but when I took a furtive glance around no one was paying me the slightest attention. And even she seemed lost in her own thoughts. The train seemed to plunge downhill now, only to lunge to a stop that shot me out upon a platform feeling like something regurgitated from the belly of a frantic whale. Wrestling with my bags, I swept along with the crowd, up the stairs into the hot street. I didn't care where I was, I would walk the rest of the way."

That particular abstract only alludes to the infamous thronging that takes place on New York City trains and in New York City train stations. Ellison wrote aptly though, because everything he wrote in that experience was (ironically because its a novel) non-fictitious. The subways are seriously crowded and it does get really annoying. I thought what Ellison wrote about the woman and how close he was to the mole on her face isn't too far removed from some of the experiences that I've had. I've been spat on, brushed, nudged, pushed...you name it. You just have to adapt and understand that because of the nature of the train system, people are going to cram. But being caged in by people who are easily compelled to become volatile can be the worst. Getting into a brief, or otherwise lengthy, argument about personal space on a NYC train can be entertaining, comical and really embarrassing.

The train system has other customs though. For example, I'll always remember teenagers who would come on the train with boxes of candy and introduce themselves monotonically by saying, "My name is Tyquan. And my name is Jarrel. And we're not selling candy for no basketball team. We're just trying to find a honest way to make money so we don't have to do it on the streets. Would anyone like to buy some candy? We only have m & m's and starbursts left...."
And I'd always laugh in my head as they sauntered through the train car looking longingly at everyone they passed with their dirty white t-shirts , ripped jeans and brand new Jordans and no one bought candy. Sad...



One of my favorite customs of the train system would have to be the break dancing. Its great when it's spontaneous. When it's not spontaneous, it means that you've seen the same two fools, one old fool with his little brother whose about 4 feet tall, perform the same tricks on the same train because they take the same route everyday. They are chafing. But it can be some good entertainment though. Their boomboxes are always hot. For them to use that little bit of space and do all those flips, hurdles, lunges, cartwheels, and dance moves to Missy Elliot's Lose Control in the middle of the train car is incredible. The dexterity that they have is comparable to Olympic contestants. But they'll never get that kind of recognition, we all know that.



But how about going into the train station and always finding a show, especially in the train epicenters like 42nd street Times Square and Broadway Junction on the A line in Brooklyn. There's always some kind of show that entail the performances by some of the most hustling-savvy geniuses you may ever meet in your life. These guys really know how to turn on a crowd. They are sly, shrewd, and talented. The guys know how to get women involved with clever comments and the women always grab the attention of male passer-by's with eye-popping moves. I'll never forget seeing the midget in Times Square who looked like Michael Jackson, emulated his every move, and made a ridiculous sum of money from 1 minute and 13 seconds into MJ's Thriller. Priceless. Like I said, these people know how to hustle and it is not wise to under-estimate their purview of economics, especially street economics.























One other custom that you'll find in the subway, is that people always go to the furthest part of the platform as possible and look into the tunnel to see if the train is coming.....every three minutes. What's funny about it is, does it matter when it's coming? It's not like by you gawking at the rat and graffiti-infested train tunnel is going to make the train come any faster. Even worse, when people can see the train coming in plain view, they still look deeply into the tunnel to see if its coming. I can't malign those folks though, I'm one of them. It's just part of the culture I guess. Another part of being inside the train car, is what I like to call the "pole competition". The pole competition is a sport where individual passengers compete to see who will get what hand spot on the pole positioned in designated areas in the train car. Certain advantages are determined by height and strength of arm pit smell. Dead serious. If you stink, people will move away from the pole and let you have it. Thus you win. Someone who is small in stature riding the train will always suffer adverse situations because there will always be someone who is about six feet tall hovering over you with their burly arm(s) sitting on top of your head while they're frantically holding onto the pole. It sucks, but that's just the way it is.



One of the more irritating experiences one can have on a NYC train is the "Stand clear of the closing doors" aspect. The time when it totally sucks can be one of two situations. Either the train doors are broken so they repeatedly open and close and you're left standing in front of them angrily because you want them to shut so the train can move because you have to use the bathroom really bad and the paunchy man behind you keeps pushing you further and further into the corner of the area. The other situation is standing in front of the doors and seeing people hastily running down from the nearby station steps to try and catch the train. And while you stand there hoping that those feverish bastards don't make it because you really want to get home after one of the most taxing days of your life, they do make it and the doors have to open and close once again. Or, they actually don't make it but they manage to catch the doors closing with their bare hands and are so persistent about getting on that train that they won't let go until the train conductor re-opens the doors. By this time, 15 minutes have gone by, and you're ready to karate chop everyone who just made it on the train.

A apologize for not having a picture to illustrate this scenario. I guess Google isn't that resourceful. I hope my writing effectively provided the scene.

If you're not a native New Yorker, or haven't been to New York before, I may have thoroughly discouraged you from using the subway system if and when you get here. But I implore you to not be apprehensive when it comes to NYC trains. Its an experience you have to have. Honestly, I didn't appreciate them until I came back on breaks from school. New Yorkers are kind of spoiled with that kind of culture and we do take it for granted. So if you haven't been to the NYC, you better come and take the train because I spent too much time moiling over this blog trying to attest to the train culture that is special here. I'll see you on the A line in Brooklyn. I'll be on Broadway Junction in front of the Filipino woman and her daughter with their big blanket sprawled out across the tiling with about 65 bootlegged DVD's and unpopular mixtapes that has no intrinsic value which they're selling.

Before my parting thoughts, I'd like to end this entry with one last photograph and a song that fits the theme of this entry by my main man Guru. Enjoy.






















Parting Thoughts:
The summer here is not as bad as its been in past years. But I shouldn't speak to soon, it's only July.

And since it's July, that means that my birthday is coming up in a few weeks. The theme of this blog is very timely because I'd like to announce my plans in the short future. I'm going to ask my parents to buy me a Super 8 Millimeter Camera for my birthday. If and when I get it, I'm going to embark on my first film endeavor. I plan on shooting a short documentary on four controversial topics: abortion, the death penalty, euthanasia, and surrogacy. I'll be shooting on different NYC trains throughout the city, candidly interviewing passengers who are willing to participate. I think it'll be extremely interesting and fun. There are always eccentric people on and in the subway and I'm excited about meeting different people with different ideas.

I find it funny that the women who go natural the most with their hair in this country, are white women. Is that technically, conscious for them? I guess that depends on if you believe that wearing your hair the way you were born with it is 'conscious'. I personally like some of the Europeans styles. Ain't nothin' wrong with a perm. Well, maybe there is, sometimes. And I still can't tell the difference between real hair and weave. People have told me its because my mom has long hair. Guess so.

I've been reflecting on my past dealings with women and I've realized certain things in an effort to clear up my search for a good person in the future. I was once with the over-indulged hip hop cultured girl which didn't go well with my maturation process. I've also dealt with puritanical women which I realized probably won't work out in the future because of my staunch heretical beliefs. I definitely have found myself gravitating to those who are grounded and have a subtle benignity about them because it brings me to a comfortable level of communication. Ehh, I could go on about this for days. I'm just anxious to meet a motivated and deeply layered debutante who will compel me to cease defining the word, 'love', as just a fancy noun.

Over and Out.

Oh yeah, Tajai what are we? Masterminds.

...

Yeah, no title for this one. There's been some unequal distribution of entries on my blog, as my "Preaching To The Choir Boy" section-which is basically parables about my life- hasn't seen a new entry in quite some time. And I don't think there is a better time than right now to write in this section. The past few days, and maybe even month, has been very trying and taxing for me. I've been emotionally precarious so much lately that I needed something to calm my feelings. So I decided to relax, listen to some cathartic music and sleep my problems away. Although I'll have to come back to reality, it temporarily makes me feel better.

One of my biggest problems, which I can now say has turned into a full blown personal quagmire, is my devotion to "making a difference". What's funny about it, is that it shouldn't really be a problem, but for me it is and has been. And I think it's becoming worse. I'm working for this program now where I'm helping rising high school seniors develop their college applications. They come to a host site (the site is a college campus where the program uses the facilities as a venue) and spend four days working on the nuances of the college application process. Well, being the person that I am, I came into my last workshop with an expectation to magically change the kids over four days because I knew what backgrounds they were coming from. By the end of the workshop, I was left hopeless and frustrated. I was so frustrated and disappointed with what I had endured that it put me in tears. What kills me the most, is that I care that much. I feel like the more I learn and see the potential for those around me to have their consciousness raised, the more my passion thickens and I try harder to drastically change everything about them in an effort to make them better people. My mother had to console me. She told me there's no way I can save them all and I should concentrate on the ones who show the most potential, and guide them for the time that I have them and make an impact on their lives.

I just have this hankering for "make a difference" so bad that it impedes my ability to actually do it. I think I've completely lost patience at this point, although I'm trying to improve that. For example, during the workshop while we were having a session, I had asked all the young men in the room to stand. I instructed them all to pull their pants up to waist level. Subsequently, I spoke at length about why that was important, going on about how no matter where you're at, you're always on display and as young aspiring college students and also just people, you should develop a sense of respect for yourself and others, so on and so forth. The next day, at least half of them were wearing their pants off their a**es again. I lost my patience, and for the rest of that day I had a miserable disposition, and that wasn't good for the students. I think I've fallen in love with this "affecting change" thing. But the relationship just isn't working out. It's not that I want to give up on helping people, it's just that I have to use my discretion a little more. My mother told me that I'm not going to get to people as I am right now. But when I get to where I'm going (meaning as a prominent filmmaker), I'll be able to affect people a little more. All hope isn't lost though. I think I may have gotten to a few of them. And that matters. I think I'm just too concerned with trying to get through to everybody. It's a wonderful passion when you want to always be of service to your fellow (wo)man, but it cannot be so strong that you're stressed and unable to get through your days without feeling hopeless. And that's how I felt. I think this part of my personhood is what I need to try and work on the most, more specifically, my patience. I can't save the world, who can? I just have to learn that change happens by watering one plant at a time, not showering the lot with a hurricane.

There were some things that I found really disturbing though. One day, I had to help a young woman develop her personal statement for her college application. Honestly, it was one of the most painful experiences I ever had. I spent an hour and a half helping her with simple grammatical errors that she should have learned in the fourth grade. I'm not trying to condemn her, but that reality really just bothered me. And after reading a few other papers, it seemed as though almost all of them were writing on a level that they should have surpassed years ago. Her and other papers were extremely depressing. They constantly write how they talk; writing colloquially. For someone else, that experience might have rolled off their back, but for me its unsettling. These are the kind of things that I want to quell, but at times it seems so helpless that it hurts. That's one of those things that just put me in such a depressing mood that I couldn't smile and when I did, it was a sullen act. Sigh... I know there are programs that aim to help these kids who are coming from the worst socio-economic backgrounds, just like I did. But with today's generation, and how poorly they are being guided by the worst facets of society (two being mainstream hip hop culture and poor parental tutelage), it seems as though they're hopeless. But we can't accept that right? We can't... And that's exactly what bothers me so much. Seeing what the reality is and knowing what it could/should be. I guess I'll have to just let it go. I don't have a choice really. Patience.......patience..........

Another experience that emotionally affected me was a surprise call. I consider myself an only child because I was raised only by mother for most of my life and I didn't have any siblings. But the truth is, is that I have a younger brother. Although he's my half brother because he was born of a woman who is not my mother, he's still my brother. And he called me today... When I heard him tell me over the phone it was him, I was completely shocked. It was one of the rare moments in my life where I didn't know what to say. What could I say? I asked him how old he was now, and he told me he was thirteen. I'll be nineteen in a few weeks, and that means I haven't spoken to him in over six years. My family ties were severed because of past conflicts, so I never had a relationship with my younger brother. But I spoke to him for the first time in over six years. The call was brief. He was actually calling to tell me that he was moving to Atlanta, Georgia on Wednesday. Another blow... My one and only brother finally calls me and what he has called me about only means that a significant relationship that I could have with him is now a dwindling possibility. That totally sucks. I was just so shocked that I told him I was going out soon and that he could give me a call anytime. I absolutely have no idea how this is going to progress. He's entering high school now. Wow.... All I know is, he has my number, and if he calls, I'll be there for him.

My brother's phone call instantly made me think of my father, who I actually heard speaking through the phone. And anytime I think about my father, I get angry. It's amazing to me, really. After growing into a respectable, decent young man and human being, surviving one of the worst high schools in New York City while graduating the top of my class and being admitted into one of the best higher education institutions in the country, developing a core set of mores that I carry with me everyday, achieving a bevy of milestones in my early years and devising passionate aspirations to be something rare, all without the help of my father; I still have strong feelings about him. I appreciate my stepfather for being the auxiliary paternal figure in my life because he has helped with my personal development a lot. But no matter what I do in life, the thought of my father just disturbs me. I guess I'll never get over that feeling of abandonment and accepting that the person who helped create me consciously decided to not want or take care of me. That's always going to hurt, I guess. Honestly, if my father had gotten on the phone, I would've hung up. Period. I really don't want to speak to him. I have so much to say to him that I could have a stroke getting through my first sentence. But I know that the time will come when we'll have to meet and settle things. He and I are getting older, and it's only a matter of time before his conscious shadows him so much that he'll come running after me and then I'll have decide if I want him back in my life. I really don't know the answer to that question right now. Just the thought of it depresses me, which adds to the emotional roller coaster, or should I say water tide, that I've been on.

Other parts of my life seem empty as well, especially with women. I think I've created these standards that are so rare to find in people, or at least a significant combination of them, that I haven't really ran into someone I genuinely like. And the females that I do like, I haven't been able to get to. I think the characteristics that I'd like in a female are comparable to that of a 56 year old woman with a Ph.D.. who often frequents cultural venues. Yet again, that's depressing. But that's not it really. I'm not really big on having a lot of friends, because I'm really concerned with who I keep around me.

"Who you keep around, let's you know who you are" From the screenplay of The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift

So I often find comfort in a select group of people. But the best possible situation for me is to consistently enjoy the company of another person. I haven't found that person. I've had a few, but the 'relationships' went down the toilet. And I've lost that balance. When I get into these lulls of dejection, I don't have anyone to trust to help me get out of them because I usually just convene with one person who I know is close to me. But I don't have that right now, which is probably why all of these things are seemingly consuming me right now. I'm not even finding the urge to fraternize. Hopeless... But here again comes this issue of patience. I have time. I know I do. Someone will come along. Hopefully. Again, I really don't have a choice but to wait.

There are more things that I'm going through, but I've seemed to exhaust this blog entry. Sigh... I'll be fine though. I'll be seeing the next batch of students in the coming days so I'll have to put on my happy face so I can try to be of service. Patience....I know.

Parting Thoughts:
Charlie Rose's show has become somewhat of a muse and therapeutic for me. I often watch the episodes where he sits down with people I admire and aspire to emulate. It makes me feel good watching and hearing others attest to the dream that I want to come true. Here I am, constantly immersed in my own reveries about what I want to be, and there are many others who are the manifestation of what I envisage for myself. For all who say certain aspirations begin and end with dreams, I'd implore them to study those who have already made those dreams come to fruition. And what I hear them saying, is that when they dreamed when they were younger, the only thing that mattered was what they felt in their heart and what they thought. I also watched Will Smith say that you have to be somewhat delusional to actually go for the seemingly impossible.

It will happen Kuamel, it will.

Oh yeah,
I can finally say that my music library is eclectic. I think I have at least 25 songs in about 11 different genres of music. While alternative rap and jazz dominates my library, I have world/folk music, electronic/electronica, Rap (old school and new), Soul, Rhythm & Blues, Classical, mainstream/pop, comedic, Neo-Soul, rock (alternative and soft) and reggae. My song count has crossed the 1925 mark. That's big for me because my music ear is really hard to please. Now if I could just get an iPod....

Like the The O'Jays said, "I love music".